Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
