Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
