Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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