Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
