if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i out mim tonsoeep
try to milk me bitch
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
