she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
