You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
