he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
