16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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