I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
