They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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