Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
