cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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