Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
you made out with another girl for some wings
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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