everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
