Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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