Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
And then the night went full on bisexual.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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