we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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