He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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