Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
