I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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