How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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