just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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