You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
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Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
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He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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