My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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