Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
