Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize