don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize