Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Randomize
