I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
my poor anus
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
