Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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