You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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