i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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