Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
