too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
