Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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