Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
