I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize