Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
