I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
