I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize