i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
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Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
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but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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