this beer tastes like vomit already
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty