So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...