It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
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I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
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driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.