I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex