i jhust puked up my retainher.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
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Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
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If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.