someone get that fucking seahorse.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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