I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize