Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
