I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize