I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
