So drunk its hurt
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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