weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
