you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
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He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
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There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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