There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
