I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
