# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
