I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
