Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
