so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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