i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
