i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
