I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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