$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
