just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
