im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
