I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
