Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Randomize
