Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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