no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
